burger
noun · Gen Z · derogatory (affectionate)
A person with no discernible taste, opinions, or interior life. Orders the safest thing on every menu. Has never been the main character. Has never been a side character. Is the menu.
Asked what his favorite movie was. He said "I don't really watch movies." Absolute burger.
CA
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exhibit A
A day in the life
We followed one for 24 hours. This is all of it.
unedited
7:00 AM. He wakes up. Something might happen today.It won't.
How to spot a burger in the wild
They're everywhere. They're in your group chat. They might be you. Here's the field guide, plus one man's actual order.
- Favorite color is "blue, I guess."
- Has never once sent the first meme.
- Refers to every band as "that one band."
- Goes to a Thai restaurant and orders the chicken tenders.
- Vacation photos: airport, hotel bed, airport.
- Only rewatches things. Has never started something new.
- Answers "what do you do for fun" with "hang out."
- Owns one pair of shoes. They are grey.
- Says "it's giving" and can't tell you what it's giving.
ANYWHERE GRILL
Burger (plain)12.00
no onion
no pickle
no sauce
no lettuce
no tomato
Fries (regular)4.00
Water (tap)0.00
Coke-- changed mind --
Water (tap)0.00
TOTAL16.00
Tip0.00
Tip (after nudge)1.00
"was everything okay?"
"yeah it was fine"